Jade’s story: Discovering the unconditional love of the Father

Being in debt is lonely. It’s all on you, the adult in the situation, to figure it out. How you’re going to feed your children. How you’re going to pay the bills. It was incredibly stressful, and I felt so anxious and alone, with no one to turn to for help.

Until I started going to Holy Trinity Church.

The first time I went was when my eldest son was about two years old – we went along to the toddler group. Because of what I’d learned about God growing up and having turned away, I found it hard to go to church – I felt like God hated me. I believed that when I’d walked away from him, he’d walked away from me.

But at the toddler group, I met a lady called Sharon. She was so easy to talk to. She was so warm and kind, and she shared her faith in such a natural way. God’s love just seemed to shine from her. 

Anything you needed, she was there to help. She would leave groceries on my doorstep because she knew we were struggling, just so my family would eat better that week. She also supported us through the Kids Matter group, which helps children and families in poverty.

When my debt coach, Ben, came round with Margie, a volunteer befriender, for our first in-person appointment to help me start getting out of debt, I was shocked to discover I already knew Margie from church! We bonded immediately as we knew the same people, and she even made blankets for my children. 

Debt is like having a big grey cloud hanging over you. Handing that cloud to somebody else helped me walk a little bit taller. The debt wasn’t gone, but I knew I was surrounded by people who cared and could help.

At that first appointment, Ben and Margie asked if they could pray. They asked me how I was and how my children were, and I mentioned that my son was really struggling with some medical issues, and had been for some time.

They prayed, and the very next day, my son was completely healed. He didn’t have any more issues at all! He had suffered for two years in pain every single day, with doctors having no idea how to help.

I still didn’t fully understand what had happened, but I started to have more and more questions about faith. Ben invited me to an Alpha course, and when we got to one of the weeks about healing, I suddenly realised that it was Jesus who had healed my son.

I realised at that moment that God still loved me. I know it was Jacob that was healed and not me, but it was a gift to us as a family. One of the ways you can make me smile is through my kids – if they’re happy, I’m happy – and God healing my son made me realise, ​‘Oh my goodness, God is real, and he loves me.’ It was mind-blowing. I gave my life to Jesus there and then, and told the leaders I wanted to be baptised – and my life has never been the same.

Jesus has never let me down, he’s never failed me. If you knew me from my life before CAP compared to my life now, there is nothing you could say to convince me that God doesn’t exist, because he’s completely transformed my life and everything about it.

Since accepting Jesus and giving my life to him, things have drastically changed. I see him at work everywhere, even in really small things.

One time I was standing in the kitchen, and had nothing to get me through the week. I prayed, and asked for God’s help, and with that I got a text from the DWP (Department of Work and Pensions) to say that the Cost of Living Payments were starting and would be in my account that afternoon. No one else I know got that text until the day after!

Another time the kids said they would like beans on toast for dinner, but when I was driving home I realised I was out of bread. I looked in my change pot and realised I could just about afford some, but then accidentally drove past the shop. I decided to go to the corner shop instead and see if they had any, and when I got there, they were giving away free bread. It felt like God reminding me that he provides for my family’s needs.

As you give him more and more things, your faith gets bigger and bigger, and now my kids’ faith is growing too. My son Jacob is eight now, and his faith is incredibly strong. He asks Jesus for everything, and he provides every time! He prayed for a skateboard, and then was given a skateboard that Sunday at church! There have been times we’ve been caught in the rain at the park, and I’ve asked Jesus to stop the rain, and he has. Now my kids automatically do the same, because they’ve seen that God cares about us as a family, and that he hears and answers our prayers.

One evening, we were in the house and the electricity went off, and we were all huddled up on the sofa in the dark. It was winter, so it was freezing and I panicked. Jacob simply said, ​‘Jesus, turn on the lights please!’ and they immediately turned on! We were the only flat in the building for a good hour who had lighting. My neighbour noticed, and I was able to share that it was an answer to prayer.

My journey with the church and God also led me to my wonderful husband, who I married in October. We met at church. I saw a man with his arms raised in the air in worship, felt drawn to him, and asked God to give me a sign if it was right to introduce myself to him.

Later in the service, we had to write and stick prayers on a washing line, and him and his daughter wrote down that they wanted more friends in the church for her. The church prayed over these prayers, and when I opened my eyes, Jacob, who usually stuck by my side, was over there with them both. God answered both of our prayers that day!

Jesus is a helper. He’s wonderful and kind and none of my needs are unworthy to him because he loves me. I know now that God’s love is unconditional, and I’d never experienced what that felt like before. I felt like God was a God of judgement, and I could never live up to his standards, but I clung on to the fact that children inherit God’s kingdom. I held on to the belief that my kids would be saved no matter what happened. 

Now I look back and can see that God has never left me. He was there in every situation. And now, just as the Bible says, my children know him too.