How can you encourage those people in your church facing challenging situations to take that first step and ask for help? Read this blog to find out how you can support people in your local community, like Paul and Sam.
A Christmas beyond breaking point
If Paul had visited your church a year ago, you would have probably ended up having a friendly chat with him at the post-service refreshments. Paul is the quintessential Yorkshireman — direct, proud, hard-working.
Watch Paul and Sam’s story below:
Building upon his joinery background, Paul started his own construction business, which he ran with his wife, Sam. It was doing exceptionally well, providing a stable, secure and comfortable lifestyle for them and their children. All of this changed within a matter of weeks last Christmas.
Global changes beyond Paul’s control meant that construction materials began to soar, leaving Paul’s profit margins quickly narrowing.
Being the reliable breadwinner, Paul set about taking on more work to make up the shortfall. But being in the midst of the cost of living crisis, construction materials weren’t the only prices exploding — there were sharp rises in food and energy prices.
It became increasingly difficult to put food on the table and keep the home warm, let alone consider buying Christmas presents for his children.
I got to the point where I was working every hour of the day, I wasn’t even seeing the children.
Paul
But despite Paul best efforts, he couldn’t fix their financial problems. Paul eventually broke down and shared with Sam he’d been having suicidal thoughts because of their overwhelming situation.
Did you know?
46%
of people CAP helps had attempted suicide as a way out of debt*
*Statistic taken from CAP’s 2024 client report.
‘I’m so thankful to God that Paul was honest at that moment,’ his wife Sam says. ‘That was a huge thing for him to admit. We went to the doctors the next day.’ That should have been the turning point. However, because of the crippling stress Paul had been under, he soon suffered a stroke, leaving him unable to work.
It was the worst thing that could have happened to Paul. He prides himself as being strong – physically strong as well as mentally capable. So for him, to no longer be the breadwinner, he saw himself as weak. That was a new season for us. We had to rely on God and on other people.
Sam
Paul and his wife Sam found faith later in life, becoming ‘born again’ just six years ago. They quickly integrated into their church’s community and played an active part in outreach projects — like volunteering at the church’s food bank and Paul joining a prison ministry. Yet even with their new-found faith and loving church community around them, Paul and Sam were so burdened by shame that they didn’t share their problems with anyone there.
It was after the bailiffs started showing up that Paul and Sam said they knew they needed to get help. Sam plucked up the courage and told the church’s food bank manager what was happening to them. ‘She was brilliant,’ said Sam. ‘She put me in touch with CAP’s local Debt Centre Manager who offered to visit us at our home. This made me feel much better, having someone we could have a face to face conversation with.’
Finding hope through CAP and the local church
Contrary to Paul’s strong sense of self-sufficiency, it was when he accepted help from Jonathan, CAP’s Debt Centre Manager and a fellow Christian, he finally felt a sense of relief and peace.
It was a dark time. I had my wife and children, but I felt alone. When Jonathan came, he lifted something.
Paul
What Paul and Sam didn’t anticipate is that, now they had shared their situation with someone in their church, they began to receive support. Once the church learned what was happening, they rallied around them. The church provided a mix of vital spiritual, practical and relational support in the family’s desperate time of need.
Through CAP and their church’s care and support, Paul and Sam’s life has been transformed. The bailiffs have stopped knocking. They have cleared their debt. Paul’s health has recovered and they are now looking forward to this Christmas — to a warm house, Christmas meal and presents!
There will be other men sitting in church today, like Paul was, but who don’t feel they can be honest about what they’re facing. They’re too embarrassed, feel too ashamed. But they need to share it with someone.
Sam
Would you know if shame was keeping someone in your church from speaking out?
Often the first step to supporting someone who’s embarrassed about their finances is to remove the stigma. This can be done through something as simple as opening a conversation, letting them know they are not alone, that other people have gone through what they are facing — and have come through to the other side.
You can do just that this Christmas by sharing Paul’s story with your church today. And if you’d like to support more people like Paul, consider supporting our Christmas appeal.
Support links for your congregation or local community
If someone in your church or local community is struggling, we’re here to help. At CAP, we offer free debt help, money coaching and life skills workshops, and job clubs. Use our postcode search tool to find a CAP service near you.
Looking for useful links to help support someone struggling? Find a list of support services to help people with whatever situation they may be going through.
